Guilty
by Stargazer-Lillies
Summary: rory must tell Lorelai what happened between her and jess when he comes back one more time CHAPTER 2 LENGTHENED!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. I do not own Milo Ventimiglia, but someday maybe I will.  
  
Note: This is my first fic. Please R&R!!!  
  
I sat there in the dark for a while. How was I supposed to tell her? My mother had always known everything about my life. Sometimes, it took a while, but eventually I would tell her. This time however, I couldn't find the words. I didn't know where to begin. It was a long story, some of which my mother knew about, but there was so much she didn't, and it was all the important things. Jess had come back into my life, and for one brief moment I had really thought he would stay. I think he did too.  
She would be angry. Lorelai had hated Jess ever since that day on the porch when he took a beer out of our fridge. She hated him for getting me into a car accident, she hated him for taking me away from Dean, and she hated him for leaving me and breaking my heart. Most of all, she would hate him for getting me pregnant, and running away, like he always does.  
I knew I had screwed up. I had provoked him. I yelled at him. I was so angry. He said he loved me, and I drove him away, all because I was afraid. Afraid of what might happen, afraid of what had already happened, and afraid that he would leave. I rejected him, so he couldn't reject me. It seemed brilliant, but it wasn't. it was a horrible plan. 


	2. Don't Dream it's Over

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, of course.  
  
Note: The last chapter was just an introduction, this will be longer!  
  
"Mom?" I spoke into the phone. I was sitting on my bed in my dorm.  
"Rory?" Lorelai asked, confusedly. "What is it, honey? It's 4 in the morning. Are you hurt?" I gulped. I couldn't tell her over the phone. I needed her here.  
"Can you please come here?" I asked. My voice was shaky. "I need to talk to you."  
"What's the problem? What is it?" She sounded worried.  
"I just need to talk to you." I repeated.  
"Of course, I'll come." She replied. "I'll be there in a bit. Bye, sweetie." I heard the dial tone. I just sat there. The test was in front of me on the bedside table. Positive. How could it be positive? It had happened only once. I guess that's all it takes. I had gone to the drug store, that morning. It was so embarrassing. Looking down the aisle, examining the boxes, buying a pregnancy test. When I used it , I prayed that it would be negative, so I could forget about him, but like everything else that had happened in the past month, it didn't go my way. It answered the tiny voice in my heart. The one that had no common sense at all. The one that had read Romeo and Juliet too frequently, and believed that people are right to die for love, and that carrying Jess' baby would be a blessing. I sat there for what seemed like forever, just staring, until I heard a knock at the door. I got up and answered it. There was my mother, and I started to cry. She hugged me, and stroked my hair for awhile. She didn't ask me what was wrong, she just comforted me. Then it came. "Sweetheart, what's making you so upset?" She asked finally, as we sat on the sofa. "What happened?" I got up and when into my room. I picked up the pregnancy test and went back out into the main room. I showed it to her, and she got this strange look on her face. It turned into sadness. She was disappointed. Everything was going to happen for me, and I had just blown it. Then the biggest question of all came. "Who is he?" She asked. She looked straight into my eyes. It was so hard to tell her. "It was Jess, mom. It was Jess." I finally said. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face and her eyes drooped. "But, how?" She questioned. I almost doubted I knew, myself. It was almost like a dream, that somehow had seeped into my reality.  
  
~One month earlier~  
  
"Rory, hey!" Tanna exclaimed. "I invited this guy over tonight in our dorm, I hope you Paris and Janet don't mind."  
"Really?" I asked anxiously. "Is it a date?" The simple fact that Tanna found a guy that she didn't drive away, intrigued me.  
"Oh, not really." Tanna said. "We're more friends. But he's awesome, he's into books, and he's as obsessed with music as you are."  
"Cool." I said, a little disappointed that Tanna hadn't found a guy.  
"But, he's funny." Tanna smiled. "Really sarcastic, but funny. Oh, and he's not scared of me." I laughed.  
"Can't wait to meet him" I said. I had no idea what was in store for me.  
* * *  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
"I'll get it" Tanna exclaimed to me.  
"Sure." I said. I was at my desk studying. I had to write an essay on "fifth business" and it was due in a few days. I was trying to remember what my epiphany about it, this morning, had been, when Tanna called me out to meet her new friend.  
"Ok, I'll be there in a sec." I called out. I saved my file, and grabbed a sweater. That's when I heard their conversation.  
"I've heard some of them, mostly from my roommate." Tanna said.  
"Are you kidding?" The familiar voice said. "The Clash?" It couldn't be, I thought. I'm mistaken.  
"What's your favorite song by them?" Tanna asked. I was starting to believe myself, until I heard his answer.  
"Guns of Brixton." He answered. I stepped out of my room. Tanna smiled.  
"Jess, this is Rory, one of my roommates. Rory, this is Jess."  
"Hi Jess." I said. He gawked at me, then finally  
"Hi Rory." He greeted me and held out his hand. I rolled my eyes, and walked back into my room.  
"That was strange." Tanna commented. Then she shrugged. "Want to watch a movie?"  
"Sure." Jess said. "How 'bout a movie marathon?" I could envision the smirk on his face. Jess had invaded my life again, maybe not on purpose, but he had. Why was he even there? I sincerely doubt, a thug who didn't even graduate high school, was accepted to Yale. I'm not saying he's not smart enough, I know he is, but he just doesn't try. I sat on my bed. I sighed and groaned for about ten minutes, until I decided to leave. I went outside, and headed towards my tree. I knew paying 20 dollars for it was worth it. I needed to think. Maybe Jess would just leave, again. Even though my mind was telling me to hate him, somewhere deep down, I wished he'd stay forever. Forever with me. I was foolish and naive to think such a thing could be true for anyone. Too many movies, and books and poisoned my mind. They had taught me lies about love. One was that love was honest. Another, that all was fair in love. Nothing's fair in love. Nothing would ever be fair about loving Jess.  
  
~Back to the future~  
  
"It's hard to explain, mom." I said, thinking on the day he'd showed up in my dorm.  
"Does he know?" She asked. I'd never seen my mother this way before. Was this really Lorelai Gilmore? The woman standing in front of me with all the colour drained from her face? The woman on the verge of tears? The woman who couldn't look me in the eye?  
"No." I answered simply. I didn't tell her why or the circumstances. I couldn't, it wasn't the time. She frowned.  
"Do you know what you're going to do?" She asked another question. I couldn't stand it. I felt as if I was being interrogated, yet she was eerily calm.  
"Why so many questions mom?" I cried. "I can't answer them. I don't want to answer them, you may find out what happened sooner or later, but I just can't rehash the past right now! There's someone growing inside of me!" Someone who would most definitely look and talk like Jess. Then the calmness turned into anger. "That stupid little bastard!" She said. "He's ruined your life. Finally, he's ruined your life!"  
"Jess didn't do anything wrong, mom." I answered. "It was me this time."  
"How was it you?" She yelled. "He kept playing games with you. He'd leave then come back, then leave again, he made you skip school, you were so confused, and then when I thought he'd already hurt you enough by telling you he loved you then driving away, that's when he gets you pregnant. And he ran away this time too didn't he? Didn't he?"  
"Jess didn't run away mom!" I yelled back. "I drove him away. I told him to leave. I told him we could never be together, and that he was nothing to me anymore. I made him leave! I MADE HIM LEAVE!" I broke down. Lorelai's mother radar kicked in. Her angry expression rapidly turned to compassion and empathy. She knew how I felt. Who would know better than Lorelai Gilmore? The woman who had me at sixteen, who at raised me alone. The woman constantly losing chances to be with my father, the woman who so desperately clung on to the hope of being with Christopher. It had always dissolved. Yes she knew how I felt. She held me and told everything was going to be okay. I couldn't believe her, though.I might never see Jess again, and I'm carrying his child. Somehow, I couldn't look on the bright side of the situation, because as far as I saw it, there was only darkness. Never-ending darkness.  
  
I appreciate your reviews, they encourage me to write more! I know this may be a little short too, but trust me the chapters will get longer!  
  
Thanks, Stargazer_Lillies 


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